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Emotional Self: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up Disconnect From Their Emotional Self?


Although human beings are made up of many different selves, such as an intellectual and an emotional self, it doesn't mean that everyone on this planet is in touch with each of these selves. If someone is in touch with each part of themselves, it could be said that they will be operating as a whole human being.

One will be able to think clearly and they will be in touch with their feelings. Through being this way, it will be possible for them to not only perform a certain job well, they will also be able to form deeper connections with others.

One Benefit

This is because their emotional self will be what allows them to truly connect with others, whereas their intellectual self alone is not going to allow this to take place. Furthermore, their emotional self will also provide them with guidance.

So, when it comes to whether or not they should do something or if they should say yes or no, for instance, this part of them will give them the information that they need. This part of them will tell them what their needs are.

It Doesn't Stop

One way of looking at this would be to say that their emotional self is their inner guidance system. No matter what time of the day it is or where they are, this part of them will always be there.

To live a fulfilling life, it will be essential for them to listen to this part of them and to utilize the information that it provides. Going against this part of them is only going to cause them to suffer unnecessarily.

Off Track

If one was to look back on their life, they may see that there have been times when they have ignored this part of themselves. Consequently, it might not have been long until they paid the price.

Then again, there may have been a time in their life when this was just how their life was, meaning that ignoring themselves was normal. They are then going to be only too familiar with what it is like to ignore this part of themselves.

Inner Directed

Being this way doesn't mean that one will completely overlook other people needs; what it means is that they won't be interested in living a life where they ignore their needs and are totally consumed with other people's needs. Putting their own needs to one side from time to time is going to be radically different to always doing this.

Also, being connected to how they feel doesn't mean that they will constantly be expressing how they feel, either. They will realize that there is a time to express how they feel and a time to keep how they feel to themselves, containing what is taking place within them.

Another Reality

If someone isn't in touch with their emotional self, only having a connection to their intellectual self, they are not going to be operating as a whole human being. As a result of this, they probably won't have a very good connection with their body.

There is then the chance that they won't have trouble thinking clearly, but that it will be a challenge for them to connect to how they feel and to know what their needs are. When they are at work they could be fine, yet when they are around others, it could be a different story.


Due to being out of touch with their emotional self, their connections with others are unlikely to be very deep. And if they are in a relationship, their partner could often tell them that they are distant and even emotionally unavailable.

Still, one could be out of touch with this part of themselves and not even realize it. There can then be moments when they feel empty, and they may see that they don't feel strongly connected to anyone, but it doesn't mean that they will look into what is going on.

Enough is enough

If someone like this was to get to the point where living in this way was too painful, no longer wanting to feel cut off from themselves, others or even numb, they could end up looking into what is going on. What they could find out is that the reason they are experiencing life in this way is because they have experienced trauma.

Disconnecting from their body, along with their emotional self in the process, was a way for them to survive what happened to them. Thus, in the same way that they would leave an environment if it was dangerous, they left their body as it was too painful for them to inhabit it.

In The Past

This may relate to what they have been through as an adult or it could go back to what took place during their early years. If it goes back to their early years, there is the chance that they were abused and / or neglected.

This would have been a time when they were not equipped to deal with a lot of pain, yet their whole system would have felt overwhelmed on a daily / weekly basis. The only way for them to handle this pain would have been to leave their body.


What kept them alive as a child is now going to be making their life harder than it needs to be. Even so, this is not to say that one should try to dive into their body and to deal with the pain that is there.

For one thing, this approach could end up overwhelming them, but, as they have been out of touch with their body for so many years, it is highly unlikely that they will just be able to get back in there. Getting back in touch with this part of them can take a little while, irrespective of how committed they are.

If one can relate to this, and they want to become an integrated human being, they will probably need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.


Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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