When should parents begin telling a child of his origin?—When a child asks about his origin he is old enough to be told the first story. Some children will ask about this by the time they are three or four years old, others not until they are five or six. A normally developing child will certainly become interested in this matter by the sixth year. If a child has not asked about his origin by the time he is six, it would be wise for the parents to ascertain by questioning him whether he has received this information elsewhere.
If they find he has gained this information from the vicious, what should they do?—I would suggest that they wisely, tactfully and kindly ask him to tell them all he has heard, promising him that they will tell him the real truth in a number of very interesting stories. If he has received only very limited information, I would tell him at once the story of the plants and promise him another story in a few days or weeks about the oysters. If he has received considerable information in half-truth and learned several vulgar expressions, I would tell him these stories of life, one at the time and one each day until I had covered all the half-truths he had learned. I would endeavor skillfully to impress him with the sacredness of the laws of life. I would try to induce him to discard every false name he has learned by giving him the chaste pure names. I would teach him that we should be modest and discreet regarding these organs, and when and how to speak of them; that we should carefully avoid entertaining the idea they are in themselves sinful or that they are our shame and humiliation; that these organs and their functions are sacred, delicate and pure; and that they are our pride and our glory.
If this advice were universally followed by teachers, ministers and parents among all children over ten, youths and adults, it would immediately reform and purify society.
“If a child, especially a boy, is not fully satisfied with the information contained in these stories, and should ask for a more detailed explanation of the child’s origin, how would you answer him?”—I would first try to decide whether the child is prompted by natural or morbid curiosity. If the child is sincere, very bright and inquisitive, you will have a very pleasant task and one that should result in only good to the child. I would start with the plant and show just how the two natures reach eachother in the seed. Then I would pass in my detailed explanation to the oyster and fish. I would call his attention to the real visible examples of mating among the insects, birds, and domestic animals. I would call his attention to the father and mother of insects and birds as they build their cells and nests to receive their eggs when laid. I would call attention to the fact that food is stored up in the egg or cell for the young before and after it is hatched. I would call his attention to the fact that among the animals where the young is born alive, that the mother furnishes the young with food before it is born. If the child has witnessed the mating of the birds and domestic animals and this is explained to him in detail, the necessity for a detailed discussion of human mating will be avoided. The child could be informed that human mating is practically the same.
If the child is prompted by morbid curiosity, the task is a more difficult one, the ideal results are not so certain, but the above method is the only one that can be safely followed.
To be able to give sex and social purity truths effectively to children and youths, what qualifications should parents and teachers have?—They should have tact or skill. It is possible to approach them in such a way as to do great harm. This qualification comes to one as a result of careful study of these subjects, the{120}consciousness of personal responsibility and a realization of the child’s need of being safeguarded by a clear knowledge of the truth. (2) They should be able to discard all words and phrases they learned from the ignorant on the street and playground. They should be able to use a chaste, simple, scientific sex vocabulary. (3) They should be free from all mental and moral taint. No one can tell or willingly listen to a lascivious joke and then be able to tell effectively a child of his origin, the functions of his sexual system and his temptations and dangers in connection with them.
“Would it be safe for all parents and teachers to give sex information to children?”—It would, if all possessed the qualifications mentioned. A thief is not the proper person to teach honesty to a child. A liar is not the proper person to teach truth. A tobacco-using father is not the one to teach his boy not to use cigarettes. A swearing man is not qualified to teach his boy not to swear. Occasionally a child is saved from one or more of these vices by becoming utterly disgusted with the vice in his father. The child is an imitator. The child is quick to detect the difference between teaching and practice. One must practice what he teaches, if he expects his child or pupil to accept and follow his teaching.
If parents and teachers do not possess these qualifications, what should they do?—It is their duty to prepare themselves for this service. Under present social conditions, they are not qualified to be at the head of a family, or to teach children unless they have these qualifications. Those who have these responsibilities upon them and feel that they cannot at present effectively perform these duties can secure the services of others or they can place in the hands of a child or youth a safe and interesting book containing what the child needs to know.
If a child is told these delicate truths will he not tell other children about them?—That will depend upon the nature of the child, the way he has been trained and the tact used in telling the story of life. Some children have inherited a gossipy nature and some have been unfortunately trained. They would. But most children would not seek to inform other children; they would not seek this information from the vicious when they know they could obtain the truth from parents and teachers.