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It is 3 a.m. Silence echoes inside the empty house. You know you will not meet tomorrow’s deadline for that project at work, but you don’t care. All this seems so trivial. It’s been that way a year now. A veil has been covering your perception, your goals and your aspirations. Only this one phrase keeps repeating itself inside your mind: “Why Can’t I Forget my Ex Wife?” You keep wondering if there was anything you could have done to save this marriage. You cannot understand why you sink deeper and deeper into this vicious circle inside your mind, instead of getting over it. They say time heals, but it does not seem to be happening to you. Time cannot heal, unless you want it to.
Healing from divorce for men is just as hard as it is for women, maybe even harder. The reason for this is that women express their emotions, but for men it’s not as easy. They suppress their feelings. They struggle to abide by the role imposed to them by society and this always backfires. The pain inside of them accumulates and it multiplies to the point that it becomes unbearable.
1. Express Yourself
This is the most important thing you need to do during and long after the divorce. The phrase “men do not cry” couldn’t be far from the truth. Men do cry, but they do so in solitude. Do not struggle to hold back your tears in the company of a dear friend.
2. Communicate
Talk about it for hours with your friends and relatives, if you feel the need to.
3. Avoid By All Means Mutual Contacts
Whatever you say will be more than likely transferred in a distorted version to your ex-wife and vice versa. This creates a never-ending gossiping circle, which completely destroys a man’s chances to recover after divorce.
If contact with mutual friends and relatives is inevitable, demand that they do not talk to you about this matter.
4. Get It Out Of Your System
A day will come, when you are finally sick and tired of mourning. Gather all the pictures, letters and any other reminders and keep them in a safe place away from your sight. Stop going to places you went together. If you are the one who’s kept the house, move to a new house or even area.
5. Avoid Rebound Relationships
Most of the times, these relationships do not work. They slow down a man’s healing process after divorce and they end up hurting even more people.
6. Take A Trip Alone
Take a trip on your own to some remote, peaceful place with warm climate and tranquil water for swimming. It will help you relax, realize the beauty that still exists around you and give you the opportunity for introspection. All the pain you’ve gone through will be for nothing, if you do not learn from it.
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Source by Larry J Milton
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