Two people can be mutually attracted to one another, only if there was some relationship between them in some previous life. When you meet a person, to whom you were related in a previous life, the stored memories or the Runanubhandhana stir up your emotions and you may start “feeling” for the person. Every longstanding relationship leads to certain deep impressions. Any act when done repeatedly can become a habit. Every habit leaves an impression. These impressions are the Samskaras, which drive us to act again. But if we have no more debt (runa) with the other person, it just remains a fleeting thought, an impulse only.
Sometimes even though the karmic debt is discharged, the old Samskaras (impressions of past acts) can generate an irresistible inner urge to enter into a relationship. We eventually end up creating a fresh account, a further karmic debt that is not advisable. But if there is undischarged karmic debt, it results in a relationship naturally. When the karmic accounts are settled, once there is no more debt, the relationship ends. But if the Runanubhandhana is very strong, it results in a long-standing relationship like marriage.
This is the cause of every relationship, how it is born and how it ends. But nothing is permanent. No karmic debt can be everlasting. Eventually it has to end when the debt is discharged, when the account is balanced. In this impermanent world change is the law of life. Countless wombs have we passed through. Innumerable mothers, fathers, spouses and children have we been with. It is hard to interact with another being who has not been a parent, brother, sister, spouse, child, friend or associate in some other life. But when a karmic debt is over, the attachment might still be there. We still cling on. When rna (debt) is over, the relationship has to end, but anubandhana (bondage or attachment) might still make us cling to the person. Like the fan that turns for a while even after the power supply has been switched off, the attachment doesn’t die for some time. Once the runa is over, nothing can sustain the relationship. Hence any further remnants of attachment (anubandhana) are bound to produce only suffering and misery.
In some cases, one of the two people involved grows out of the relationship once the runa (debt) is discharged. But the other refuses to move on, due to the attachment (anubandhana). The second person suffers tremendously because any further attachment leads to misery and suffering only. Sometimes there is bitterness also after separation. This bitterness can sow the seeds for future karma! When the karmic debts are over, when a couple has to part ways, as far as possible, it should be done with the least negative feelings. They should part in an amicable way to avoid further seeds of new karma, which is easier said than done.
The karma that brings two people together into marriage can also be of many types.
- Bitter enemies can be born as husband and wife, and always fight, criticize, deceive one another and make each other’s lives miserable.
- Two people who have created negative karma between them come back as man and wife, and lead a life of suffering together, fighting with one another.
- Two people who have created both positive and negative karma between them come back as man and wife, and have a mixed life causing both happiness and unhappiness to one another.
- Two people who have created positive karma between them in previous lives come back as man and wife and lead a relatively happy life.
- One who has taken a lot in some life has to give in the present life. In such a case, one of them will always be giving (money, love, care, etc.) and the other receiving.
- Two souls who are evolving spiritually come as husband and wife, help each other in their evolution and benefit one another. This is the purpose of marriage.
- A couple who has been husband and wife may come back as husband and wife again, if their Runanubhandhana is very strong. If the Runanubhandhana is very strong and their destinies (lives) are so strongly interlinked, usually both die almost at the same time. If one dies first, generally the other also dies within a few hours or days or weeks. The souls are so strongly identified with one another that towards the end of a successful married life, they behave as if they are one.
- Sometimes (rarely) a very highly evolved being or soul, or spirit or even an avatar is born as two people to accomplish a mission. After the accomplishment of the mission, they merge back into one. Though very rare, such a divine couple can take birth at times. Such a high soul may be born as two separate individuals as husband and wife, brothers, guru and disciple, etc.